Why you’ll never be good enough

Why you'll never be good enough: read at gloriousmomblog.com and find out why your best will never be enough. It’s funny how the simplest truth can get convoluted into something that means the opposite. But sometimes understanding the truth can mean the difference between living free and being completely miserable. 

How many people don’t want to talk to or even think about God because the act brings feelings of shame and inadequacy? How many think that you have to be good before you can come to God? Before you can darken the doors of a church?

Why you'll never be good enough: read at gloriousmomblog.com and find out why your best will never be enough. When it comes to this topic, there are two false extremes: one is that God is a fierce, unmerciful deity who will never find you good enough. The other is that God is so full of love, that you can do anything and be anyone and it doesn’t make a whit of difference to Him. 

Such extreme opposing views can’t possibly both be correct. So what do you believe? Here’s the thing about truth: it’s NOT subjective. That means it’s not just what you, I, or Oprah decide that it is. It doesn’t contradict itself. Truth needs a standard. Something that has been unchanging, unwavering, and steadfast for thousands of years. 

That standard is the Bible. If you correctly study the Bible, you can see it assures us that those two views are distortions of the truth. Have you ever heard that the best lie has a little bit of truth in it? So here is breakdown: God is a fierce, strong deity who will never find you good enough. The Bible says ALL have sinned (Romans 3:23). Just because I’ve been a “good” churchgoing girl all my life doesn’t exempt me from this. If you think you’ve kept all the Ten Commandments without fail, check this out: Jesus said whoever looks at a woman with lust in his heart has committed adultery (Matt. 5:28). It’s not looking good for us. To understand the truth of humanity’s condition, you have to understand that we aren’t basically good. Our inclination is to be horribly evil. 

In fact, we CREATE suffering ourselves. Everyone always blames God for it, but it’s US!! We’re disgustingly, inexcusably depraved. God looks at the child-molesters, the dictators facilitating genocide, the dirty politicians cheating and stealing from people and he says, “I hate sin! Sin is killing the people I love!” God hates sin not because He’s some stuffy, far-removed being in a white tower somewhere, but because He watches from heaven and sees it destroy lives. He sees the broken woman selling her body for sex, the junkie who will do anything for his next fix, the wife whose lies to her husband are destroying her family, and His heart is broken. 

So why doesn’t He do something about it? He did!! You’ll never be good enough. Stop trying! God did something years ago that broke the power of sin and gave you freedom from the things that are destroying your life. God IS a God of love. That part is correct. But He can’t love you flawlessly with a love bigger, stronger, and more unconditional than anything you’ve ever encountered and let you keep your sin that is destroying you. That’s where Jesus comes in. You know what He did. God showed the greatest love ever manifested in history by surrendering His Son to death so that you can be free from the torture of sin and be His forever. 

When you finally accept this, believe it, confess it, walk it, breathe it, live it (Romans 10:9-10); then you start your legitimate journey towards perfection. No one this side of heaven is good, but when you walk with God He gives you victory over sin and transforms your life. It’s the only way to live. 

If this post stirred something inside of you, a longing you can’t exactly describe with words, it’s because you were made for heaven. God formed your inward parts and He knows you more than anyone. If you want to talk about it or have me pray for you, feel free to contact me here or comment at the end of the post. 


Why God lets you wait

Why God lets you wait: Ever wonder why it takes so long for an answer to your prayers? Read more at gloriousmomblog.comIs there something you’ve been waiting for for a long time? Maybe it’s your future husband, or some medical breakthrough, or an advancement in your career. Maybe you’ve been trying unsuccessfully to have a baby. Or maybe you have a dream – some passion that’s been smoldering inside of you since you were young. 

Sometimes the thought of it hurts your heart a little. You try to bury it so you don’t feel, but you can’t bury yourself. Proverbs 13:12 says “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” So how do you wait for the desire of your heart without getting heartsick?

Why God lets you wait: Ever wonder why it takes so long for an answer to your prayers? Read more at gloriousmomblog.comI knew I wanted to lead worship by the time I was thirteen. I also knew I wanted a family at a young age. Really wanted one. Like now. I didn’t start leading worship until almost ten years later. I didn’t get married until I was twenty-seven. I also spent a good amount of time in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit waiting to see if my son would live, and whether or not he would be sent home with an NG tube. More about that story here. So I know a little about waiting. 

Isaiah 40:13 says, “but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They will mount up on wings like eagles; they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not be faint.” So what is the difference between letting hope deferred making you heartsick and being strengthened by waiting on the LORD?

Why God lets you wait: Ever wonder why it takes so long for an answer to your prayers? Read more at gloriousmomblog.comThe distinction between the two is this: what are you doing while you wait? Are you obsessing over your circumstance, or are your eyes fixed on God, trusting that He has your future in His hands?

Why is waiting even necessary? Clearly the thing you’re waiting for is a good thing, right? Why would God withhold it from you? Why not just let you have it now? Why the delay in answered prayer? 

The Bible is filled with characters who had to wait for their desires. Abraham waited for God’s promise of a great nation, Hannah waited for a son, John the Baptist and Jesus were called to greatness at a young age and yet waited until the appointed time to enter their ministry. 

Why God lets you wait: Ever wonder why it takes so long for an answer to your prayers? Read more at gloriousmomblog.comThe reason God makes me wait is this: He has a fabulous destiny for me that is greater than I can imagine, but my heart isn’t ready for it. I’m not ready. First of all, I have a thousand little character flaws that are getting ironed out in the process of me not getting what I want instantly. Second, don’t you know that what you want is not always what you expect? I waited years for a husband, not fully understanding that God was going to use my relationship with this amazing man of God to shape me further into His image, because boy, is marriage work!

The things that I’m waiting for (with my eyes fixed on God) I’m not ready for. I need to wait. I need to mature and grow. God’s faithfulness is steady and unchanging. He sees me and knows me and He knows the seasons. When the time is right, He will fulfill His promise to me. 

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The Day My Anxiety Left Part 2

The Day My Anxiety Left Part Two: read the second part to the story of how I stopped stressing out so much. Check it out at gloriousmomblog.com.

I wrote my first article on God setting me free from anxiety two weeks after my breakthrough. At that point, God tested me in the midst of my newfound freedom. I didn’t do so well at first. I wanted to write a follow-up article to encourage people who have had sustained victory in an area in their life, but then later experienced a discouraging struggle.

The immediate difference I noticed when the anxiety left was that all the little situations that would cause my heart to beat quicker didn’t bother me anymore. My heart was lighter and I felt generally joyous. At that point I hadn’t faced any legitimate issues that might cause me real stress. Then our gas went out. My husband’s attempts to keep me from freaking out fell flat. In my mind, I imagined no gas for the next month, needing to cook and shower at my in-law’s (who live, realistically, like four blocks away), and having my tight schedule and productivity routine seriously hampered by this unexpected inconvenience (which ended up only lasting about three days). Continue reading “The Day My Anxiety Left Part 2”

The Day My Anxiety Left

The Day My Anxiety Left: read about how I stopped stressing out so much. Check it out at gloriousmomblog.com.

“Whatsoever is not of faith is sin.” Romans 14:23

I never called it “anxiety” until it was gone. In fact, I justified it: I had three small kids, one with autism, and I was a WAHM. Obviously, I was stressed out! People around me justified it also. “I don’t know how you do it.” Not with grace, unbeknownst to them. Certainly not with patience, or faith that everything was going to be okay. The only person who seemed to know I had a problem was my husband, and I could NOT tolerate him pointing it out. He didn’t call it anxiety either, and I resisted fiercely his attempts to loose its grip on me. I clung to it. I’m allowed this, I thought. Or, I have this under control.

Then I thought I was pregnant. Ha. You have to understand, when we first got married, we wanted five kids. Now we have three. So pregnant is good, right? Not when anxiety has stealthily gained control of every aspect of your life. So when the test said “Pregnant” I was NOT thrilled with the grain of life that God had (supposedly) gifted me with. Way to reveal my heart, God. Soon after, my temper with my four year-old was so short, my husband actually took her to work with him so I could spend some time alone in prayer. Yikes. During this time when my anxiety had escalated so that God could reveal its nature and ultimately break its power over me, I actually thought I was losing my mind. Seriously, I called my mom and asked if she thought I might have some kind of mental illness (she did not support THAT hypothesis).

The Day My Anxiety Left: read about how I stopped stressing out so much. Check it out at gloriousmomblog.com.

At this point I had actually started to increase my prayer life a little bit, the absence of which I easily blamed on my children. So during my time with God, I realized I needed to repent. The stress and feeling of being overwhelmed that had consumed my life was a slap in the face of God’s sovereignty. If I truly trusted God that He would take everything, why was my life characterized by fear that I wouldn’t be able to get everything done? I don’t mean a little worry or nagging in the back of my mind. I mean a constant berating, before every activity, during every time my children made things take longer by simply being children: throwing everything upstairs downstairs, escaping poopy diapers without my help, not getting dressed in a timely fashion before church. All these things sent me into panic mode. And if two of my kids were screaming or needing me simultaneously, forget it. Mama’s losing her mind. Romans says that everything that is not of faith is sin. I needed to accept that my “panic mode” was not cute, was not normal behavior, and did not, in the slightest, bring glory to God. When I realized this, I confessed my sin to God.

Coincidentally, at this time, the small groups at our church were doing a study on the Holy Spirit. This of course, bringing to mind the certain fruits of the Spirit that were absent in my life. In particular, my children and husband were taking the brunt of this lack. So no lie, I Googled “how do I get the fruit of the Spirit in my life.” That goes to show you what my Bible study skills had devolved to at this point. Not surprisingly, they all pointed out that the way to get the fruit of the Spirit was to cultivate relationship with God through a regular devotional time. I was already praying and reading my Bible, but literally either in between kid tantrums or after they had gone to sleep and I was completely exhausted. For the first time in years, maybe ever (?) I initiated a routine of having my time with the Lord in the morning before the kids woke up (well, technically after I had dropped Jac off at the bus, but before Zac’s morning chatter turned into screams demanding crib extrication). It was amazing. Just me, God and coffee.

The Day My Anxiety Left: read about how I stopped stressing out so much. Check it out at gloriousmomblog.com.
What I felt from the Lord at this point was that I was to pause at every moment where I felt the temptation to freak out, to complain, to yell, whatever, and to ask Him for help to handle it well. The first few days were okay; I did much better than I had been doing. I actually was able to choose the right attitude. The emotions that were driving me to anxiety were basically there, but I was somewhat able to control them. Then another thing that helped was I started to journal, just short entries that helped me see what worked and what didn’t.

This is where God gets the glory. After a few days of struggling to not let the anxiety take control, GOD TOOK IT FROM ME. Entirely. For every situation, there would have been the expected clutch of the stomach, the spinning of the mind, the loss of rationality and entrance of complaining and stressing out. There was nothing but peace. There IS nothing but peace. This has transformed my life. I had no idea how miserable I was, barely surviving from day to day, being crushed emotionally and exhausted physically. Now I have joy. Now I have peace. I still occasionally experience the stressed-out feeling, especially when I’m getting the kids ready to go somewhere, but anxiety is a conspicuously missing element of my life.

I hear from so many people who struggle with anxiety and depression who just own it. They like to explain what it like so we can be empathetic and not judge them. I remember what that felt like. Just understand me. But those are chains we don’t have to wear. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” If you repent of your fear and lack of trust in God, if you seek His face earnestly for freedom, He will break the chains. You can be free from anxiety.